我已厌倦了遍遍述说我的童年
我已厌倦了遍遍述说我的童年
诗 / 梅丽莎·克劳
译 / 稻粱
我已厌倦了遍遍述说我的童年，
但我实降生于地下——或者说
自我吞下那些种子，便再也无法真正离开。
这意味着，我已见过属于你的月亮，
乃至你的太阳，它们高悬在
软篷般的天穹，犹如点亮发光的果实。
环绕岩石的清风，也抚弄着我的秀发，
就如你呼出的气息惯常那样，只是
你这气息带着花香，似星茉莉，有甜美的芳香。
你嗅到了我身上的泥土味，对吗？
回到栖居之地，一切都被颠倒了——
熙攘的大地成了苍穹，仅存的花朵变成了根系。
你疑惑我们是否已习惯于在黑暗中视物，
眼睛的适应能带给我们些许慰藉？我们不像
会发光的灯笼鱼或蛙类——我们只有
平凡的身躯，简单的需求——但有时，
我们也能感知到那就要到来的存在，
它们寂寂无声，直到脚步声回转，
阻止了泥土如大雨般泻落我们头顶。
或许我是这地方的诗人，因为我
喜爱“暮色朦胧”一词不输“微光隐约”，
它既包含了“夕阳”，也蕴含了“泥土”，
让时间成为一场盛典，赋予黯淡了的光
另一种身份。我会献给黎明一首十四行诗，
你借着破晓的第一缕光，目送心爱之人远去
——我同旁人一样渴望着救赎，
那伸出的手充满诱惑，五指真切，
它的紧握于我何等珍贵——但我们
已被赋予自己的故事，正如我们的名姓。
我应着呼唤而来，我源自此处。
原作
I’m Tired of Writing About My Childhood
by Melissa Crowe
But I was born underground—or
I ate the seeds, and I can never leave,not really. Which is to say I’ve seen your
moon, your sun even, how they hang like lit
fruit from a soft canopy of sky. The wind
that rounds the surface of this rock ruffles
my hair the way breath always does, only
yours is blossom scented, star jasmine, sweet
perfume. You smelled the dirt on me,
didn’t you? Back at home, everything’s
inverted—firmament of packed earth
and the only blooms are roots. You wonder
if we’ve gotten good at seeing in the dark,
consolation of adaptation? We’re not like
lantern fish or frogs—ordinary bodies
ours, ordinary needs—but sometimes
we make out the shape of what’s coming,
hold very still until the footsteps turn,
stop the rain of soil upon our heads.
Maybe I’m the poet of this place because
I like the word gloaming as much as glimmer,
how it holds both glow and loam, makes
of time a pageant, makes loss of light
another kind of light. I would write
a sonnet for daybreak, first beam by which
you watch your lovers leave—I like reprieve
as much as the next man, am tempted by
the hand that reaches down, how sure its
fingers, its grip to me how dear—but
we’re given our stories, same as our names.
I come how I’m called, and I come from here.
# 作 者
梅丽莎·克劳（ Melissa Crowe ），美国当代女诗人，在北卡罗莱纳大学威尔明顿分校担任教职，教授诗歌与出版课程。著有诗集 Dear Terror, Dear Splendor （威斯康星大学出版社，2019年）和 Lo （爱荷华大学出版社，2023年），后者曾获爱荷华诗歌奖。
作品：
木纹译诗 | 我一直竭力向你展现
作者照片：The Rumpus，Melissa Crowe 提供
题图：微信公共图库
责任编辑：稻粱